Reframe Marriage: Cultivating a Christ-Centered Relationship

Introduction

In the second week of our marriage series, “Reframe Marriage,” we explored the importance of cultivating a Christ-centered relationship. Just as a garden requires care and attention to thrive, so does a marriage. Without a relationship with Jesus, there is no overflow of Christ into our marriages. This sermon emphasized the need for intentionality, wisdom, understanding, and knowledge in building a strong, resilient marriage.

Intro Prayer

Heavenly Father, we come before You with open hearts, ready to receive Your wisdom and guidance. As we gather today, help us to be receptive to Your teachings and to understand how we can apply them to our lives and relationships. May Your Holy Spirit work within us, transforming us into the likeness of Christ, so that our marriages and relationships reflect Your love and grace. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Key Verses

Proverbs 24:3-4

Ephesians 5:31

1 John 3:18

Galatians 6:2

Song of Songs 2:15

The Importance of Cultivation in Marriage

Marriages, like gardens, do not thrive by accident. They require ongoing attention and intentionality. Proverbs 24:3-4 highlights the importance of wisdom, understanding, and knowledge in building a house. Similarly, these elements are crucial in cultivating a healthy marriage. Neglecting these aspects can lead to the growth of “weeds” that choke out the good in our relationships.

The Role of Intentionality

Intentionality is key in maintaining a strong marriage. This involves pulling out the “weeds” that can harm the relationship, planting seeds of love, and watering them with care. Just as a garden needs regular weeding, watering, and pruning, a marriage requires consistent effort and attention. Neglecting these tasks can lead to a relationship filled with problems and dissatisfaction.

Wisdom, Understanding, and Knowledge

Proverbs 24:3-4 emphasizes that wisdom, understanding, and knowledge are essential in building a strong foundation for a marriage. These qualities are not gained through neglect or ignorance but through intentional study and effort. In a marriage, this means paying attention to your spouse, understanding their needs, and continually learning about each other.

The Danger of Neglect

Neglecting a marriage can lead to the growth of “weeds” that choke out the good in the relationship. Proverbs 24:30-34 warns against the dangers of neglect, illustrating how an untended garden becomes overgrown with thorns and nettles. Similarly, an untended marriage can become filled with problems and dissatisfaction.

Choosing Each Other Daily

Reframed marriages choose each other daily, especially during tough times. Most marriages do not fail due to major issues like adultery or abuse but due to a lack of intentionality and neglect. Drift in marriage is not always obvious until one day you wake up feeling completely disconnected. Intentional action helps to stop this drift and reconnect with your spouse.

Vulnerability and Grace

Marriage exposes our weaknesses, insecurities, and sins. In a Christ-centered marriage, these weaknesses are met with grace and forgiveness. Vulnerability means acknowledging our brokenness and leaning into those moments with grace. Galatians 6:2 encourages us to carry each other’s burdens, fulfilling the law of Christ by loving as He loved.

Practical Steps for a Reframed Marriage

1. Commit to Regular Church Involvement: Make being part of the body of believers a priority.
2. Create a Shared Vision for Your Future: Align your individual goals and pursue your dreams together.
3. Practice Intentional Rest: Commit to regular times of Sabbath rest to reconnect with each other and with God.
4. Celebrate Small Wins and Milestones: Acknowledge and celebrate accomplishments and milestones together.
5. Invest in Your Emotional and Physical Connection: Schedule weekly date nights and find regular ways to connect emotionally and physically.
6. Explore New Adventures Together: Step out of your comfort zone and create shared memories.
7. Reflect on the Year with a Marriage Check-In: Evaluate what’s working well, what needs improvement, and how you can grow in your relationship with Jesus and each other.
8. Develop a Habit of Gratitude: Express daily gratitude for your spouse and the things God is doing in them and through them.
9. Serve Each Other in Practical Ways: Be intentional in serving your spouse in everyday life.
10. Learn Together: Attend conferences, read books, listen to podcasts, and invest in personal development together.

Questions

1. What does it mean to you to cultivate a marriage like a garden?
2. How can we apply the principles of wisdom, understanding, and knowledge in our relationships?
3. What are some ‘weeds’ that can grow in a marriage if left unattended?
4. How can we be more intentional in our daily interactions with our spouse?
5. What role does vulnerability play in a healthy marriage?
6. How can we ensure that Jesus remains at the center of our marriage?
7. What are some practical ways to celebrate small wins in a relationship?
8. How can we guard our marriage against external pressures and distractions?

Life Application

This week, choose one area of your marriage or relationship that needs attention and commit to taking a small, intentional step to improve it. Whether it’s spending more quality time together, addressing a lingering issue, or simply expressing gratitude, make it a priority to cultivate your relationship.

Ending Prayer

Lord, we thank You for the opportunity to gather and learn from Your Word. As we leave this place, may we carry with us the lessons of intentionality and love. Help us to cultivate our marriages and relationships with care, wisdom, and grace. May we always seek to reflect Your love in our actions and words. In Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen.